One of the questions I hear most often is:
“If I know what I want, why can’t I move forward?”
People usually think the answer is confidence.
I don’t.
After years as a scientist, two decades in the pharmaceutical industry, and more than a decade coaching accomplished professionals, I’ve come to a different conclusion.
Confidence is rarely the problem.
More often, I see something else.
I see a brilliant brain trying to do exactly what it was designed to do.
Protect.
Protect from uncertainty.
Protect from disappointment.
Protect from making the wrong decision.
Protect from being hurt again.
From the outside, it looks like procrastination, overthinking, or indecision.
I call it circling.
Today, I want to share my friend Christie’s story, with her permission, because it illustrates a pattern I see over and over again.
Meet Christie
I’ve known Christie for many, many years.
She taught my daughter, Elizabeth, and she was one of those rare educators who saw potential before others could see it in themselves.
Elizabeth loved being in her classroom.
Christie challenged her, encouraged her curiosity, and helped her believe she could do hard things.
Education wasn’t simply Christie’s profession.
It was part of who she was.
She earned her PhD in Education and went on to teach teachers, specializing in literacy and STEM education.
Helping children, and the educators who teach them, was her life’s work.
Then everything changed.
After unexpectedly losing her position at a school, Christie found herself asking questions so many accomplished professionals ask.
“Now what?”
“Have I missed my chance?”
“Who am I if I’m no longer doing the work I’ve always loved?”
Because reading had always been her passion, she dreamed of becoming a children’s author.
She even published her first children’s book.
Most people would assume that publishing a book meant she had become confident.
It hadn’t.
She still questioned herself.
She still talked herself out of opportunities.
One day she had a new idea.
The next day she had ten reasons it probably wouldn’t work.
She wasn’t lacking talent.
She wasn’t lacking intelligence.
She wasn’t lacking passion.
She was circling.
Then life became even harder
As Christie was trying to build this next chapter, she underwent multiple back surgeries.
She wasn’t sure how she would physically manage everything ahead of her.
Most people would have decided it wasn’t the right time.
Instead, she chose to continue the coaching and mentoring work we had begun together.
Not because life became easier.
But because she no longer wanted fear making her decisions.
What changed
The biggest transformation wasn’t confidence.
It wasn’t motivation.
It wasn’t that life suddenly became easier.
It was that Christie began recognizing when her brain was trying to protect her instead of helping her move forward.
As that changed, so did her actions.
During one of the most physically challenging seasons of her life, Christie experienced one of the most productive seasons of her career.
She published her second children’s book.
She created companion journals.
She planned and hosted her first book signing.
She designed experiences for her readers.
She began writing her third children’s book.
She stopped waiting until she felt ready.
She started building.
In Christie’s own words
Months later, Christie reflected on her experience:
“Transformative would be the word that I would use the most. I came into this work with little confidence. Even though I could fake confidence, I didn’t really have it. Now I wake up every morning ready to jump out of bed to do the things I love… I truly have joy for the first time in my life.”
When I read those words, one sentence stands out.
“I truly have joy for the first time in my life.”
The books matter.
The journals matter.
The business matters.
But those aren’t the greatest outcome.
Joy is.
What this reinforced for me
People often believe they need more confidence before they can move forward.
In my experience, confidence is rarely the missing ingredient.
More often, the brain is trying to keep them safe by encouraging them to stay with what is familiar, even when what is familiar is no longer fulfilling.
When that protective pattern begins to loosen, something remarkable happens.
The energy once spent second-guessing, overthinking, and waiting becomes available for creating.
The books were never the real story.
The real story is that Christie stopped letting fear write the next chapter of her life.
And once she did, she began writing it herself.
That is what the next chapter asks of us.
Not more proving.
Not more permission.
Not even perfect readiness.
It asks us to step far enough outside the bottle to see the label.
To recognize the pattern.
To decide before we feel fully ready.
And to begin building from the exact combination of experience, expertise, courage, heartbreak, resilience, intuition, wisdom, and scars that belongs only to us.
That is your 1%.
And your 1% is not random.
It is your edge.
It is your assignment.
It is the part of you the world has not seen yet.
Reflection
Where in your life are you waiting for confidence when what you may really need is to recognize that your brain is trying to protect you?
You are not starting over.
You are deciding where your expertise belongs next.